"The Quiet Girl In the Back of the Temple" or "How I Was Never Intended"

I've been away from this for a while, 1)because I have been working 6-8 hours at Target every single day for about 2 weeks, 2) our internet at the apartment all of a sudden came to the conclusion that it had a password, when in fact it did not and 3) I have been reading Eat, Pray, Love every chance I get.

How did you know, LindseyLou? How did you know that this book was written by me in my sleep, and that the character narrating is living my life, having my crises, experiencing my challenges? This book is changing my life, in ways that I do not have the time nor the character space to reveal in one post, but I will be soon. I want to talk to you about this book so much. I crave nothing more than coming over to your house, sitting on your kitchen floor, eating hummus and tortillas, and pointing out every passage and what it taught me. I want it so badly right now.

Actually, there is one thing that I crave greater even then your presence at this moment, and that is the very soon possibility of going home. Spending this Thursday through next Sunday at my home will be my way of going to an Ashram in India. This last month, it occurs to me, has been nothing but work, lack of sleep, and time alone. I spend so much more time alone than I ever have, and it has been greatly therapeutic, but I need a break from myself. And God knows I need a break from Target. I can't wait to go home, talk to me mom all day long, see Ryan Spain and see James, go to the Buddhist center and have some quiet time, maybe see a movie with Laura and James. I want to go visit Smiths, stay up late talking to my sister and having her read over the story I'm writing.

I want to spend 8 days where I don't think about Target, Daniel, Ben, food, money, gas, air conditioning, the new apartment, my messy room, how much I miss Ira every day, my broken CD player, my own lack of sleep, or how badly I need a shower. I will stay at home, take a bubble bath every day, play with my dogs and tell my mother everything. God just thinking about it is euphoric.

I did have a bit of peace last night. I took an hour-long, hot bath, complete with candles and piano music. I also ate a bowl of chocolate ice cream sitting right there in the tub, because I could. And I had no one who was waiting on me to call, no one who was telling me I had to sleep, nor reason to get up early in the morning. It was glorious.

Being single rocks.
Being me rocks.
[Oh what this book has done for me, you will never hear the end of it. How you have blessed my life amazes me every new day. But how it makes me miss you!]

This is my very very early Sunday morning.
Thank you endlessly for giving me this book.
I miss you, but peacefully.

<3gen