Lindsey, if you were here, there would be no way that you would have let me stay miserable at this job this long. But I stuck it out, like my mom said I should, and I tried my absolute best. And you know me, I am incapable of phoning it in, I can't just not try. But I also know when lemons won't turn into lemonade anymore, and that time is over. The best thing I can do right now is quit Target. It is a toxic environment, and Jennifer has offered to help me get more hours at the church. The people there really care about and love me and are proud of me and I need to take advantage of that ready-made team of helpers. I forget how surrounded I am by blessings.
Tomorrow I am walking into Target and quitting, no two-weeks notice, no nothing. I will give them the respect they have given me. Won't that look bad on a reference? I have a current job where I have been given a secret raise, and been offered my boss's position before she was asked to take it, my previous job keeps me on the payroll just in case I want to put in a few hours on a Saturday because they love me that much, and they gave me 2 raises in the time I was there. Target, I don't need your reference.
I also have a paper to write tonight, so let's get started. I hope to channel some of your marvelous last-minute paper powers tonight Mullen, although I wish I was with you in OB with some coffee, music playing, and laughing.
Footnote: I had a dream yesterday afternoon that I was driving past Canterbury and I saw you in the bushes outside trying to catch Stumpy. I stopped the car and jumped out and ran to you and gave you the biggest hug that exists in the whole big world, and I was crying I was so happy you were home. You said I could go ahead where I was going, because you were home now and I could come back later and we would sit on the floor and talk. I got back in the car and started driving and then I woke up. I was so disappointed that you weren't really home, I tried to fall back to sleep so that I could turn the car around.
If you showed up at my door right now, it wouldn't be soon enough.
This is my late, late Thursday night.
Flossie turns 5 on Saturday.
I miss you so much.
<3gen
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Oh Genevivums, I am so proud of you for having the strength to leave that huge stupid Walmart-in-a-wedding dress store. We can live off of church scraps together and eat ramen for months and it won't be terrible at all, and we will laugh and dance and know that we were made for lightheartedness and depth, and that we will never in our whole lived be unloved or alone.
Sometimes choosing joy is about more than just deciding to laugh off a bad hair day. Some times you have to choose joy over security or approval or propriety. You're making the right choice, and I'm flying to Johannesburg in a few hours, to say goodbye to the beloved country, and then I'm flying to New York after that. I fly into JFK at 7 in the morning, and you'd better believe that I'm going to call and wake you up.
I love you, and the universe is in love with you, and you are the bravest warrior princess in all the lands!
Post a Comment