"Whatever The Mess You Are, You're Mine, Ok" or "It's Not Easy To Be Human"

I have so many things to update about, and yet all that's on my mind is that if my back upper back were also a man, I have clearly slept with his wife and killed his dog.

I carry a laptop in a horribly inefficient messenger bag absolutely everywhere I go, for fear of leaving the still unpaid for computer anywhere but by my side. I am sleeping on various people's couches 3 nights a week, which lack in both back support and sufficient pillows. I spend inordinate amounts of time on my laptop, needing it for school and work and play and to update my facebook 24567 times a day. I regularly hoist up 40-50 pound toddlers up onto my hips and sometimes shoulders, carrying them around and sometimes whirling them around behind my back. Not to mention the pair of very beautiful, but also very heavy 36DDD boobs that I've got to keep afloat with nothing but pretty ribbon and what is likely coat-hanger wire.

Seems I may have developed some back problems.

I am, by all accounts, a muddled-up mass of injury at this point.

I still have a little limp on my left leg and now what appears to be a FUCKING STAB WOUND from the blue party last week, so the left leg is out of commission. My right leg is essentially fine, but it's pickin' up lefty's slack and it ain't happy about it. My hips, try as they might to avoid it, are bumped by my messenger bag, car doors, and door frames on such regular intervals that I've got two, half-moon shaped bruises atop each one. My right shoulder is the one that seems to be enacting the wrath of a drunken cuckold, and my uterus is in the process of punishing me inordinately for not bearing child this month. That last one, however, should always be regarded as a blessing. This all on top of the typical behaviour of little sleep, high caffeine levels, and pathetic eating schedule.

Wah, wah, wah, so on and so forth, poor me, poor me.

Anyway, I'm sorry to not write about visiting Graceland, Too with my friends in Holly Springs, MS at 1AM where I encountered the single most insane experience of my life. Add I don't have time to write about how I solved my boy problems, and even though there were tears and I'm still feeling a little rejected and in the process of licking my wounds, it's over, and that sure is better than having a "boyfriend"- blech. And I would post about how I was getting more and more scared of graduating, but once again the illustrious Miss Mullen of all things Glorious and Glitterous stepped in and eased my nerves.

But for now, laying on my bed and typing like this?
I THINK THIS IS HOW IT ALL STARTED, YOU MORON.

<3gen