"Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me, When I'm Sixty-Four?" or "The New Top Five"

1. So, my hair is brown.



I'm not entirely ok with it just yet, but I'll get there I guess. I feel sort of ordinary all of a sudden, and kids don't smile at me like they used to, and there are people who don't talk to me so easily. But last night my friend Daniel said to me, "What about all the people who didn't talk to you because of the hair? You'll have to find a way to be bright and have that energy without being pink anymore."

I suppose that's good advice.

2. I got the job at Canterbury, which is absolutely amazing. It pays great, it has health insurance, and I get to organize things and make things efficient all day, talk to people, act as a voice and a face for the church. It's a fantastic job, and I'll have the money to spend the next few years getting a Masters of Education with night classes. It's exactly what I needed, and I still get to keep my job with my class at church.

3. I am having senior-itis like I did not know existed, and I can't even motivate myself to write a three-page paper that's nothing but opinion on the Beatles. I had to write THREE PAGES on nothing but OPINION on MUSIC and I couldn't do it. That's insulting to my English Degree that awaits me at the end of this tunnel. But at this point, studying and producing assignments is equivalent to pulling an angry cat through a keyhole. Not only impossible, but clawing.

4. In my personal/emotional/sexual/relationship life, things are balanced. I feel at peace, in control, and comfortable exactly where I am and with exactly what I'm doing. I don't know how long this feeling will last, or how many nights I'll feel great before I get right back to writing metaphors about tears in my notebook. But for right now, I feel just right.

5. I am incredibly ready to be a grown-up, done with college, with a real job and a real salary. I am also terrified that, in reality, I am overwhelmingly unprepared.

Then again, isn't everyone?

<3gen